Ten Years Gone

Another year has passed.  Another year of dealing with the anniversary of my adoptive father's death.  I am not sure what to say that hasn't been said before.

And so, before the thunderstorm arrives full force and knocks out the power, I'm going to link to the posts I wrote on each September 12th the past four years on "Out of the Fog".

September 12, 2009 ~ Tapping Out

September 7, 2010 ~ Blooming

September 12, 2011 ~ Beautiful Mourning

September 12, 2012 ~ Coincidence?

I'm doing okay.  Just keeping busy and trying not to dwell on the feelings.  When I do think about it, I get confused.  You'd think it would be easy to say, "Thank goodness he's dead...he sucked!".  But it's not as simple as that.  As bad as it was growing up in that house, he was still my father.  And I still grieve, even ten years later.  But am I grieving for him as my father?  Or the thought of what should have been?